Dog Lovers Really Are Crazy

Editorial by Joel Stein started off aimed at Michael Vick’s dog fighting charges. But the real message is that a lot of dog owners are incredibly stupid about their pets. PG appears to be more accessible to dogs than it is to people.

In the news in PG lately two dogs disagreed somehow when one sniffed the other’s butt the wrong way. One dog died in the end. What has ensued is way too much human time wasted over what to do next. You have the city manager, chief of police, dog psychology experts, and a host of others making this look like the crime of the century. Get over it. It’s a civil matter.

What I’ve come to realize is that what I really hate is the dog owner. Because you’re the one who honestly believes that your dog loves you, that your dog’s love is particularly meaningful because your dog is special — almost human, really. In fact, you think, he’s an almost-human that happens to be a lot like you. He is a lot like you if you happen to assess colleagues by smelling their butts.

While we shun smokers, we keep inviting dog owners to terrorize us in new places. JetBlue lets you sit with an uncaged “companion dog,” or, as I call it, a “reason to fly Southwest.” Starwood Hotels include a whole page of dog items on their room service menu. Maybe I’m squeamish, but I don’t like to order from kitchens that, alongside my eggs, are chopping up items referred to as kibbles or bits.

Dog Lovers Really Are Crazy